hamogeekgirl – One Samoana

The Lord’s Prayer in Samoan (with video)

11 June, 201919 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

It’s been a crazy several weeks on this side of the One Samoana screen.

I could write a very boring book about the ‘technical issues’ that took this entire site off the interwebs for over a month. (Summary: if you’re going to run a website, find a webhost who loves you. Ours didn’t. We had to break up.)

It wasn’t just the geek stuff messing with the program. We had some illness. We had some family situations. We had some re-evaluation of priorities and directions. We had some… life happen.

And while I was working through all that, some pretty significant…tragic events hit the headlines from my little part of the world.

Our street was on police lock-down one morning. A young, newlywed Samoan boy had been shot and killed a few properties down from mine. His wife gave birth to their first baby like a week later.

Not long after that, the rest of New Zealand was shocked by the unthinkable killings of 50 innocent people (plus another 50 or so injured) while they were at their most vulnerable – worshiping in their mosques.

More recently, New Zealanders mourned the sudden passing of a prominent Kiwi-Samoan actor and entertainer – gone much too soon. His cause of death hasn’t been disclosed, but all the news reports about him end with links like these:

Where to get help:

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• The Word
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• CASPER Suicide Prevention
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

These headlines were devastating, of course… but they also reminded me to keep an eye on my loved ones and that, despite all my personal issues, I have a lot, actually, to be grateful for.

Before all of this happened, I announced my new effort to learn the Samoan language – properly. What I didn’t tell you then was that I’m working behind the scenes on a language learning system. It includes language coaches (my mom and cousins, mostly), a series of lessons, little audio/video clips, story telling… but most importantly, it’s based on proper research about language acquisition and learning theories. (I’m a linguistics major, so I have to know this stuff anyway.)

I’m using myself – and my Samoan language aspirations – as the first guinea pig for this language learning system, but I will post all of it here soon for anyone else on the same journey.

Anyway, before this site went on a ‘technical issues’ holiday for a while, I realized that whenever my family had lotu (prayer time) and recited the Lords Prayer together, I would mumble along with them, but I didn’t actually know all the words.

Shame.

So I asked my mom to help me learn them. I recorded her saying The Lord’s Prayer in Samoan, then I made a little video with the Samoan words and their English translations. (Oh yeah, I do videos now, too.)

After all we’ve been through these past few weeks… it feels right that we should return to our One Samoana program with a prayer, a ea?

Let’s say it together:

Lo matou Tamā e o i le lagi, ia pa’ia lou suafa.
Ia o’o mai lou mālō. Ia faia lou finagalo i le lalolagi, e pei ona faia i le lagi. Ia e foa’i mai ia te’i matou i le aso nei a matou mea e ‘ai e tatau ma le aso; ia e fa’magalo ia te’i matou ia matou agasala e pei o i matou fo’i ona matou fa’amagaloina atu i e ua agaleaga mai ia te’i matou;
Aua fo’i e te ta’ita’iina i matou i le tofotofoga, a ia e lavea’i ia i matou ai le leaga. Auā e ou le mālō, ma le mana, atoa ma le vi’iga, e fa’avavau lava.
Amene.

How to BE Samoan

A Samoan Matai and Language Challenge

17 January, 20197 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

I love the Samoan culture the way I love my family:

I would protect and defend it with my life
I don’t always agree with it and sometimes we fight

One aspect of our culture I always seem to be in the ring with is our matai system, or fa’amatai.

On the one hand, fa’amatai is a beautifully communal practice of caring for an extended family. On the other hand, it can seem so… fiddly. And tiresome. And easily corrupted – not just by immoral people, but by a general lack of understanding.

Or do we just call that ‘cultural evolution’?

My own efforts to understand fa’amatai resulted in these posts:

And then after all that thought and consideration, I decided that I am not matai material.

Why I don’t want to be a matai

I have too much going on in my world right now to contribute significantly to extended family affairs, and I could never take a chiefly title without accepting the responsibilities it comes with.

I mean, I would have to show up to family stuff. I don’t even go to Christmas.

I DID spend time over the holidays with some of my family’s elders. It’s just mesmerizing to hear their banter about a fa’alavelave or church gathering, debating what was done well and what might have been inappropriate according to Samoan protocol.

I caught myself in thoughts like, “If I was that matai, I would have never…” and, “I’m glad I’m hearing this now so when I’m a matai, I’ll know to…”

Ia gale. Dot, dot, dot.

Then my elders would drop an alagaupu I’d never heard before, or laugh about a figure of speech I didn’t understand, and I’d have to ask them, please, for an explanation.

Our language continues to fascinate me. I’m still working on my everyday Samoan speaking skills, but I will always be in awe of our higher Samoan language – full of poetry and metaphor and so much imagery.

Piecing together those images into a captivating lauga (speech) is the work of a highly respected orator matai.

Why I might want to (someday) be a matai

So my attitude towards matai-ship (not that it’s been formally offered to me yet) has shifted slightly. I’m not matai material right this minute – for sure! – but I might be in a few years. It could happen.

No harm putting in a little preparation now, right?

My Samoan language resolution

In 2019, my goal is to master everyday, conversational Samoan. I’m okay at it now, but just okay. I figure it will take around 6 months of concentrated effort to reach that goal.

The idea is, along the way I’m going to pick the brains of the elders in my family for phrases and metaphors in our higher Samoan language, and then by the end of this year, I want to start putting together my own lauga.

And I’ll share as much as I can – all the language and lauga learning, all the tips and insight around matai protocol – here in my online api (notebook) in case I’m not the only upcoming matai looking for this kinda information.

Please check back here at One Samoana for more news and announcements about Hamo Geek Girl’s new language learning matai project (that needs a better name).

If you’re on the same journey, please let us know in the comments below.

This is going to be fun.

How to BE Samoan

Fa’alupega and the Samoan lauga

16 January, 20197 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

Fa’alupega is often the first building block of a Samoan lauga (speech). When addressing a gathering of people, it is custom for the speaker to acknowledge all the other matai in the room, to greet each of them not just by title name, but with an acknowledgement of their village and recitation of how their village’s titles fit together.

How is a budding matai supposed to know all that stuff about everybody’s village, you wonder?

You ask somebody, or you get yourself a fa’alupega book and then you memorize it.

Ever see the matai in your family walking around muttering to themselves? They’re probably just practicing their lauga skills, reciting the fa’alupega of different villages.

I recently found this fa’alupega book (pictured) while cleaning out a bookshelf at home. It’s going to be very useful on my journey to speak Samoan like a matai.

If you’re on the same journey as me, please leave a comment.

Let’s connect!

If you’re very new to the whole concept of matai and fa’alupega, I wrote this article (below) years ago, when I was first figuring out how all this works. I hope it helps you, too.

——

Fa’alupega Explained

The following article was first published in 2008.

Let’s start with a definition.

In a Master’s thesis from the University Canterbury, Lona Laneselota Siauane, describes fa’alupega as:

a universally recognized set of official and web host asp net greetings, it also provides insight to the political and social dynamics within a nu’u (village)

Basically, a fa’alupega is a salutation used to address representatives of a nu’u or family at a formal gathering.

This poetic greeting incorporates the names of major matai (chief) titles from this particular nu’u, in order of rank.

The intention behind using fa’alupega is to formally acknowledge the history and political structure that makes up a village’s unique identity.

Every nu’u will have its own set of acknowledgments, but the composition of all fa’alupega is pretty standard. To give you an idea of how it is put together, let’s draw a mental picture.

Let’s say that Arato village has four main matai titles, the highest of which is Superman. The other titles in this nu’u are Batman, Robin and John.

It is important to note at this point that matai titles fall under two categories: the ali’i and the tulafale.

The (usually) higher ranking ali’i is considered sacred and solemn, often referred to as the ‘sitting chief’. The tulafale, however, is the orator… the ‘talking chief’, who performs executive duties on behalf of the ali’i title he is connected to.

Back to Arato village. Let’s say that John is a tulafale title connected to the ali’i Superman. Likewise, Robin is the tulafale for Batman. The hierarchy of titles in this village would therefore be:

Superman (highest Ali’i title)
Batman (another Ali’i title) John (tulafale for Superman)
Robin (tulafale for Batman)

We can now begin compiling the fa’alupega for Arato village.

First let’s greet the village in general:

Tulouna Arato

The word ‘tulouna’ is a general greeting, but to address an ali’i title directly, we say ‘Afio mai lau afioga’. So the next couple lines in Arato village’s fa’alupega would be:

Afio mai lau afioga Superman
Afio mai lau afioga Batman

Then to greet all the tulafale of the village, we use ‘Susū mai lau susuga’, e.g.

Susū mai lau susuga John
Susū mai lau susuga Robin

And there you have it – the most ridiculously simplistic fa’alupega ever.

The real magic happens when you know a little something about the history of our made-up Arato village.

For example, let’s say back in the day Arato survived a huge flood. And, let’s say someone who held the title Batman was a war hero for the Tuiatua. And, let’s say all those who have held the John title have been highly respected orators in Samoa. The most widely accepted fa’alupega for Arato village now might be:

Tulouna oe Arato
Tulouna oe Legotoilevai
Afio mai lau afioga Superman
Afio mai lau afioga Batman, Tagata o le Tuiatua
Susū mai lau susuga John, le alo Faletolu
Susū mai lau susuga Robin

Our example here is still pretty basic. Our fa’asamoa, especially when it comes to matai titles and village politics, is extremely complex, and much of that will reflect in the fa’alupega of a nu’u.

In future articles on this topic, we’ll dissect a real fa’alupega and talk more about the discrepancies between different documented versions. We’ll also look at the settings where it is appropriate to use fa’alupega.

In the meantime, please leave a comment if you have any questions you’d like to see addressed.

Ma le fa’aaloalo lava.

Learn Samoan

How do you say car in Samoan?

15 January, 20198 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

We’re continuing our series of Samoan language Toolbox phrases – those words and sentences that will help you begin learning directly from Samoan speakers.

Last time, we looked at:

How do you say [bird] in Samoan?

In this very similar dialogue, we want to know about cars:

A. What is the Samoan word for [car]? O le ā le fa’aSamoa o le [car]?
B. [Car] is ta’avale. O le ta’avale.
A. Ta’avale? Ta’avale?
B. Yes. Ta’avale. Very good. Ioe. Ta’avale. Lelei tele.

Is there a phrase or type of conversation you’re trying to learn in Samoan?

Tell us in the comments and we’ll create a sample dialogue for you.

Happy learning!

Learn Samoan

How do you say bird in Samoan?

11 January, 20198 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

Some of the most useful words and phrases to learn first in a new language are those that help us ask native speakers for more help. For example, ‘How do you say [something] in your language?’ or ‘What is the [your language] word for…?

Let’s call these our Toolbox Phrases – because they go in our language learning toolbox, get it? 🙂

In the sample conversation below, the phrase to learn is ‘How do you say [some word] in Samoan?’ Translated, this sentence literally means, ‘What is the Samoan of [some word]?’

A. How do you say [bird] in Samoan? O le ā le fa’aSamoa o le [bird]?
B. The Samoan word for [bird] is manu. O le fa’aSamoa o le [bird] o le manu.
A. Manu is [bird]? O le manu o le [bird]?
B Yes Ioe

For best results, have a listen then practice both sides of this dialogue.

It’s okay… lots of brainy people talk to themselves.

Learn Samoan

Numbers and Counting

6 January, 20198 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

Counting in Samoan is pretty straight forward. Our numbers are very similar to those of other Polynesian languages. Here’s how we start:

Numbers 0-10

0	O
1	tasi
2	lua
3	tolu
4	fā
5	lima
6	ono
7	fitu
8	valu
9	iva
10	sefulu

To count into the “teens”, just think about what number you’re adding to 10. For example, 11 is 10 and 1, so in Samoan, 11 is sefulu and tasi, or sefulu ma le (and) tasi.

See how that works?

In every day Samoan, we often drop the ‘and’ (ma le) and just say sefulutasi.

Numbers 11-19

11	sefulutasi
12	sefululua
13	sefulutolu
14	sefulufā
15	sefululima
16	sefuluono
17	sefulufitu
18	sefuluvalu
19	sefuluiva

From 20, we switch up the order that we put the numbers together. For example, to say 12, we use the words for 10 and 2 (sefulu ma le lua, or sefululua), but for the number 20, we think 2 and 10 instead. So 20 is lua (2) + sefulu (10), or luasefulu.

This will be the same pattern for 30 (tolu + sefulu), 40 (fā + sefulu), 50 (lima + sefulu) and right up to 90.

And then we just add the incremental numbers. So for 21, we would think 2 + 10 + 1 and say luasefulu ma le tasi, or just luasefulu tasi.

Numbers 20 – 31

20	luasefulu
21	luasefulu tasi
22	luasefulu lua
23	luasefulu tolu
24	luasefulu fā
25	luasefulu lima
26	luasefulu ono
27	luasefulu fitu
28	luasefulu valu
29	luasefulu iva
30	tolusefulu
31	tolusefulu tasi

And our numbers just continue like that right up to 100. Now, our word for 100 is selau. Our word for 200 is lua (2) selau. Our word for 300 is tolu (3) selau. See that?

Our pattern for numbers after 100 (or any hundred) is very simple and predictable, now. For 102, we would say selau ma le lua. For 112, we say selau sefulu lua. For 122, we say selau lua sefulu ma le lua. And for 222, we say lua selau, luasefulu ma le lua.

Got it?

Numbers past 100

100	selau (or tasi selau)
200	lua selau
300	tolu selau
105	selau ma le lima
163	selau onosefulu (ma le) tolu
258	lua selau limasefulu valu
497	fā selau ivasefulu fitu
1000	(tasi le) afe
1200	tasi le afe luaselau (or afe luaselau)
2350	lua afe tolu selau limasefulu
5126	lima afe selau luasefulu ono
7892	fitu afe valu selau ivasefulu ma le lua

Bonus Lesson: Counting People

All the numbers we’ve mentioned so far are used for all counting situations, but because our culture has a special regard for humans, when we count people, we always add the word ‘to’a’ in front of the number. For example:

I have 3 houses. | E tolu o’u fale.
I have 3 children. | E to’a tolu la’u fānau.
She has 5 dogs. | E lima ana maile.
She has 5 teachers. | E to’a lima ona faiaoga.

So don’t forget. When you’re counting people, it’s respectful to add the word ‘to’a’ before the number.

Samoan Traditional Art

Ie Sina – a lost Samoan art

4 January, 20196 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

I was back of house at the Melbourne Museum, browsing their hidden Pasifika collection, when I first saw one of these. This is Samoan? I asked. Yes, came the reply… and apparently, when a group of Samoan community elders visited a few weeks earlier, they gasped and shed a few tears at the rare sight of this woven cultural treasure.

The one I saw then was reddish-brown, and they had another one that was smokey-grey, almost black. This white one (pictured) is at the Auckland War Memorial Museum, where it’s known as an ie sina.

Quick Samoan language lesson: Ie means sheet or a piece of fabric. Sina, in this case, is short for sinasinā, which refers to something being white. For example, ua sinasinā le ulu a le lo’omatua means the old lady’s hair is now white.

So ie sina obviously refers to the colour of this particular…mat. Thing. Sadly, none of the museum scholars is a hundred percent sure what this type of woven art is actually called, but it is believed that the white ones – ie sina – were used in marriage consummation ceremonies back in the day.

Mmmhmmmm.

We have no record or documentation to confirm any other uses of these.. let’s just call this an ie.

It looks like a shaggy sheepskin, yeah? It’s actually made from the bark of the fau, a plant related to the hibiscus. Check out how tight the weave is at the back. The shaggy part could have been teased out of the plant fibers, maybe?

I heard that a Samoan lady out here in Auckland is trying to recreate this ie, to figure out how it’s made, but is having no real luck. This art is not practiced anymore in Samoa – it died out a century or so ago, no one knows why. Our more common ʻie tōga (fine mats) take a lot of skill and time to create. Could these old, shaggy ie be even more complicated and time consuming to make?

In any case, the ie sina (or whatever else it might be called) give us a stunning glimpse back into the lives of our Samoan ancestors. I’m so grateful for the museums around the world who lovingly document and preserve our cultural treasures.

Do you know anything about this ie? Please share your knowledge in the comments below.

Learn Samoan

Days of the Week

3 January, 20198 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

The Samoan terms for our days of the week are made up of two parts: the word Aso, or day, and then a second word to describe that day.

For example, Aso Sā is what we call Sunday, and the word sā means sacred. As Samoa is a very Christian country with most denominations observing the Sabbath on Sunday, you can see how we might have come up with the term, Aso Sā.

Monday to Sunday

Aso Gafua		Monday
Aso Lua		Tuesday
Aso Lulu		Wednesday
Aso Tofi		Thursday
Aso Faraile		Friday
Aso To’ona’i		Saturday
Aso Sā		Sunday

Discrepancies

Samoan is traditionally an oral language – we’ve only recently come up with a written system – so you may come across different ways of spelling our words. I’ve seen Aso To’ona’i (Saturday) spelled to’ana’i or tona’i.

But based on decades in the Samoan language media industry (we used to run a Samoan newspaper), the word to’ona’i – which refers to a feast we usually have on the weekends – is correct, so let’s go with that!

Wisdom & Philosophy

A proverb about being late

15 December, 201811 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

I’ve been hanging out with my uncle lately. He’s a pretty intense kinda guy. He’s loud, laughs like thunderclaps – or sometimes suffocation – and he tells those long, drawn out jokes with such conviction the anticipation kills you… and then the punchline is hit or miss depending on how well you get Samoan humour. (I’m averaging around 60%.)

My uncle is also a skilled orator who is extremely well-versed in the Fa’asamoa – so well-versed, he tells me, that much of his success in the lauga (speech) exchanges comes from his ability to competently, eloquently, break all the rules.

Cue the cackling thunderclap.

The other day he was talking to my mom about someone who had waited so long to settle down, the um… partnership options weren’t ideal anymore, and while I was convincing myself his story wasn’t about me, I heard him say, “Le malaga faiaga e timuia,” and then he and my mom just laughed… and laughed.

It sounded like a proverb, though, and I was like, “Ooh. What does that mean?” (not to change the awkward subject or anything).

My uncle moved into teacher mode.

“You know,” he said. “If you slow and always late, the rain is gonna CATCH you! If you wait, something might happen. So if you want to do it, you DO it. Don’t wait!”

“Time and tide wait for no man,” my mother chimed in.

But my uncle wasn’t done. “It’s like when we having a feed and the feed is 6 pm… And then it’s 6 pm, we gonna go ahead and eat. And if you late, there’s no food and then what?”

Got it.

So, speaking of tardiness… One Samoana has been in an odd state of semi-hibernation for far too long, now. How about we shake things up a little?

Cue the long, drawn out anticipation.

Oooh. 🙂

Family

How Samoans treat their elders

25 June, 201925 June, 2019
by hamogeekgirl

In general, the Samoan attitude towards aging is pretty similar to other cultures. To us, old age is wisdom and accomplishment. It’s a time to sit back and enjoy the spoils of life. But how do younger Samoans treat our elders?

Samoan culture emphasizes alofa (love) and fa’aaloalo (respect). We believe that our elders are most deserving of our love and respect because they gave us life, they teach and minister to us, they have sacrificed for us and have paved the way for our success. As younger people aiming to one day fill their shoes, it would be wise for us to make peace with, learn from and care for our elders.

A Family Responsibility

A few years ago, I learned the phrase tausi matua.

I learned it when my older cousin randomly stopped by my mom’s house one day with a large, fresh fish of some sort and a basket full of produce. He didn’t stay long. He and mom chatted for a few minutes then he kissed her, wished her well and left.

I thought that was a lovely gesture, but I was a little confused. It wasn’t her birthday or a holiday, and I was pretty sure my cousin didn’t call ahead to arrange this visit. I asked my mom what that was all about and she just shook her head at me. ‘Eh… o le mea ga e ka’u o le tausi matua.’

It’s called caring for your elders.

Apparently, this was a little bit more than just my cousin doing something spontaneously nice for his aging aunt. My mom explained that if we lived back in her village, visits like these – from grown children, nieces and nephews, cousins etc. – would be a regular occurrence because everybody looks out for the elders in their extended family… especially those like my mom who are widowed and retired and have daughters like me who should know our culture better.

I felt a bit schooled that afternoon. I was touched that my cousin still honoured the traditions of his youth growing up in Samoa, but then I started thinking about my own elderly aunts and uncles who live in my neighbourhood, even. How often have I been to visit them? How many times have I taken anything over for their supper or tea?

It’s something I still need to work on in my effort to embrace the values of my Samoan heritage, but tausi matua is only one of the many customs we have that refer to the way we treat our elders.

What happens if you don’t respect your elders

I’ve read a few scholarly articles that diplomatically describe the social hierarchy of the Samoan family as favouring older people. I would bluntly confirm that, in ‘traditional’ Samoan thinking, your elders hold the status of venerated prophets of God – with the power to bless or curse you as they see fit.

True story.

To illustrate this concept, here’s another true story from my own extended family…told super-vaguely with no names because everyone in this story is older than me and I don’t want a hiding.

So, a certain newly married couple fell out of favour with her parents – my uncle and his wife. It was an ugly, drawn out conflict that involved physical fighting and lots of bad blood, especially between the husband and his father-in-law (my uncle).

My uncle’s eldest living sister – at that time, the matriarch of our extended family – stepped in to assess the situation, and when she found the young couple unrepentant, she cursed them, mostly for they way they had disrespected her brother. She promised that God would block the wife’s womb and that no children would enter their family.

Sure enough, for at least 7 years after that, this couple was barren.

The thing is, the wife had a child from a previous relationship, and she was still quote young. Her husband was not much older, so it didn’t seem like they should have had a problem with fertility. They eventually made amends with her parents – everything was cool now – but still, no babies.

Finally – I guess because they were willing to try anything new – this couple went to see my elderly aunt. They tearfully apologized to her about all that stuff that happened in the past, and they asked her to please forgive them and lift the curse, to allow them to have children.

She did.

The very next year, the couple welcomed their first son into the world. They had two more children after that.

Coincidence?

*cue spooky music*

I know that was an extreme example, but you’d be surprised how many similar stories you’ll hear amongst Samoans. I mean, I don’t know many Samoan parents who would blatantly declare their god-like dominion over their children, but I know plenty who come close. 🙂

Real talk, though.

At the top of Samoa’s cultural set of values is fa’aaloalo – respect. We learn from a very young age to defer to anyone who is older than us, and then to truly honor the parents who feed, clothe, house, teach and have often sacrificed for us.

Related to fa’aaloalo is our concept of tautua, or service. For most Samoans, an underlying philosophy in our family structure is that children serve their parents…forever. Until recently, it was almost unheard of for Samoan elderly to go to rest or retirement homes. It’s more likely they would live out their lives with one of their children – usually their eldest daughter, whose siblings would help with the financial cost of their parents’ care.

The idea is, if you’re a loving, obedient child who takes good care of your parents, when you become a parent yourself – the head of your own household – you will then be blessed by the service of your own children.

That’s why you hear some of us joking (but not really joking) about the value of having lots of children to take care of us in our senior years.

Respect through service

We demonstrate our respect for our elders by treating them basically like royalty.

At mealtimes, not only do our elders (and guests) eat first, they are also waited on by the younger folk… who should always be on hand to fetch a glass of water or to refill a plate of taro or clear used dishes away and bring a bowl of warm soapy water for hand-washing. (Yes. That’s a thing).

I guess I’m old enough now to have experienced a little bit of this kind of deferential treatment.

I visited a relative once in Samoa, where an over-abundant feast was laid out in front of me and a child sat nearby fanning away the flies as I ate. When I was full (and had washed my hands in the soapy water bowl), to my surprise and embarrassment, this young boy called his little sister over and they both made a meal of my leftovers. I wish I’d known to leave more food for them.

Of course, it’s not just around food that we show respect for our elders.

Etiquette in the presence of our elders

For Samoans who move to western countries, one source of culture shock is hearing how some children talk to their parents. Oh my gosh. I know this is also true for many other ethnicities, but if a Samoan child forgets to edit the attitude out of the voice she’s directing at her parents? Oi solé, she better know how to bob and weave.

Respect for our elders is also demonstrated through our body language. If you’re sitting on the floor (as Samoans often like to), make sure your legs are never extended out with feet pointing at…well, anyone really. Your feet are considered unclean, so only wave them around at people if you want to insult them.

When you’re speaking with an elder and he or she is sitting, make sure you’re sitting down, too. Towering over someone you’re talking to comes across as confrontational – like you’re trying to start a fight. You don’t want to do that with someone you’re supposed to respect.

Living our culture in a western world

Here’s another story.

A Samoan woman and her brother – both in their 60s – while on holiday in the United States, were invited to their nephew’s home for dinner one evening.

With great enthusiasm, this nephew ushered them to the dining table then went to the kitchen to help his wife finish preparing the meal.

It was an open plan living area, so he talked with his aunt and uncle as he cooked, telling them that he was making burritos from a recipe his friend gave him.

Then, as his elders watched, he grabbed half a tortilla, filled it with the meat he was stirring and popped it in his mouth – to taste it, of course.

His aunt and uncle were appalled, but out of love for their nephew, did their best that night to hide their disappointment.

Can you spot what went wrong?

~ Let me give you a minute to think about it ~

So…

From a Samoan perspective, it was a few things:

If you’re going to have a conversation with your elders who are seated, sit down.
If you’re going to eat something, especially while your elders are around, sit down.
Your elders should ALWAYS eat first.

This story illustrates what can happen when people who are from the same ethnicity don’t practice the same customs anymore. The nephew just didn’t know (or had forgotten?) this particular protocol, unwittingly offending his elders.

Can you see how easy it is for conflict to arise in immigrant or bi-cultural families? With parents trying to hold on to their cultural values while adapting to a new way of life?

But then, whenever we talk about how something should be done in a culture, it’s always going to be up for debate.

Not everybody’s family practices our culture the same way. Not everyone agrees with how our culture’s values are demonstrated. Some of our traditions don’t seem relevant anymore, especially when we don’t live in a community of Samoans.

I think that’s okay. Culture is about people, and people evolve.

Sometimes we just have to decide for ourselves which parts of our Samoan heritage we think are important and beautiful enough to embrace.

It’s my sincere hope that we choose to keep our respect and love for our elders, because if we’re lucky, we’ll one day be part of the oldest generation of our own families

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