Its been a while… Im back now thanks to N95 & PC… hooray! I wrote this blog (like actually wrote with pen n paper!!! like WTF? who does that nowadays right? well, ahhhh i do) so that when I got the chance I’d upload it…
Ok 1 week out from the wedding, and I’ve seriously had enough! Honestly…. does it have to be a grand affair? I mean if its our wedding why we trying to please others? spending thousands to make others happy and ourselves broke? lol
As you know from my previous posts Im the worst person to get married. Well this is how bad it is. 1 week left and….
-still havent found 2 guys to replace my 2 guys from NZ that couldn’t make it last minute
-havent fitted the girls dresses or even seen the bridesmaids dresses
-Having problems with the pastor (for the sake of getting cursed, I will leave it at that!)
-Cant find my shoes for the wedding that I remembered I packed…. I think…and also forgot to get Mr’s shoes for the wedding also from NZ…
All these things I have to get done in 3 days…. Mon 29th Dec – Wed 31st of Dec as the stores close on the 1st & 2nd of Jan & the wedding is on the 3rd. Yes for some reason, I like putting myself in these challenging positions
But I am happy to say, that I managed to sort all these out by the night before the wedding… dont ask how, cos it involves “fast n the furious” driving skills, con-artist motives, criminal acts, and illegal doings…. ok ok the last 2 I did mentally hehe honestly, if you see the prices of shoes here, it would make you wanna commit murder… seriously!
On the home front, my dad was the one with the murderous thoughts, how about I was trying my best not to get a hiding from my dad in the 2 weeks leading up to the wedding…. Yep dad was stressing over money.. You know how you try explain things to your dad, that it’ll be ok, and your dad hugs you and says “I know my daughter, because I have faith in you” you know that scene? well…. it never happened with me lol it was more like
“Dad dont worry, the money will be enough since everything is paid for already” and my loveable Daddy says “Kapugi lou guku e! aua le fiapoko, ke maga’o ouke alaku iiga sasa pala ai lou ulu? Eke vaai iai E le lava loa le kupe, ua’e vaai loa lo’u faasaga e fa’agaui ou vae e?” *shivers with fear*
Translation: “Shut your mouth ok?dont be a smartass, do you want me to come there and beat your head into a pulp? You’re gonna see, if this money isnt enough for the wedding then you’re gonna see me break your legs ok?”
Someone’s been watching too many mafia movies right? hehe hehe But yeah, everyone’s stress levels were on high! But I understood Dad though. You know how Samoan Parents think. Even thought everythings paid off, they still want money to hold just incase. But the amount was shocking though, it was 10,000tala… to hold just incase… up until the rehearsal night the tension between my family (well actually just between me and my dad) was soo much, that I had to call on past solutions, drastic measures taken when I knew I was gonna get a sassing…I came up with a plan…
You remember those days as a kid, where you knew you were gonna get a hiding? then miraculously your relatives show up for a visit, but you also know that it doesnt matter how long they stay over for, your dads still gonna beat your ass after they leave? and you cant ask for permission to go with them to their house when they leave cos of course you’ll get a 2nd hiding for trying to escape. So instead you tell your cuszzies to sleep over… for your protection…. Well, I did it again!! hahahahaha ENTER my BRIDESMAIDS… yep thats how bad it was, once the girls came over (my nieces & cousins) things chilled out, my ultimate goal was to “not get a hiding before the wedding” so yeah it worked.
The lead up to the wedding took all the excitement of being a bride out of me, and my family. It was like we were planning a mission, like a military mission, that everything had to be perfect or we might all blow up or something. Even at rehearsals, dad was in my ear telling me which foot to put first and repeating “left right left” etc
By the time the rehearsals were over, I just didn’t want to have a wedding. We actually contemplated taking off to get married privately, but then our wedding would’ve had a military finish, with dad coming after us with a sapelu or something similar….
Im just glad you only get married once…. no offense to those who can endure this ceremony more than once… but for me ONCE IS ENOUGH!!!!