Screamingtree

and they pretend that there is nobody around them.

The rich, the bitches, the fuckwits of Apia.

personally, I haven’t been a victim of this (yet) and I hope I do, murder is easy around these streets, because the police around this place can let you off (any crime) for a ten tala note or a blowjob, either way, sex and money go hand in hand here - bribe is the new weapon of social climbing - or a drug habit & the pretty white Tourists look at everyone with that fake-ass “oh howww cute” while looking at a young street beggar.

“ohh how about fuck off?”

The tourists come in two forms, Samoans coming home and everyone else.  What the Samoans have clicked on, is the Samoans - are the better target.

Spot a Samoan Tourist - ask them to buy a spoon, a home-mixed cordial in the form of a soft drink, a salu, and then everything that you don’t need.  The philosophy around this “new way” of thinking is pure and simple (and what we’ve always known)

MOST Samoans, leave Samoa with empty pockets, the “palagi’s” leave with thier savings book in perfect working order.

The Fa’alavelave way of life is still in full swing, I went today to the Australian embassy to ask about Visa regulations and the Visa Lady, was at a “fa’alavelave” - we then proceeded to the Samoan Passport office, the “guy I need to speak to” was at a “fa’alavelave”.

I understand these things happen, but without boring everyone, I’ve already had 4 people away that I needed to speak to, but hey, maybe they are all at the same fa’alavelave? who knows.

It’s my third day here in Samoa, but my first entry - I’ve been drunk the last few days and the rest of the time sweating my ass and sleeping during the peak of heat, the afternoon.

My nana is doing fine, she’s happy she’s here, but she’s starting to talk about dying already, she’s ready to pass away and unleashed her bedtime story of “when I was on the plane I felt like I was gonna die” I had to quickly remind her, that it was probably just the turbulance of our Air New Zealand flight (thank you very much Air NZ, your meals stick suck big time maori ass) baha!..

I’m finding it hard to concentrate, but I stopped by to grab some phone numbers from my e-mails, my good friend Cherry from NZ is hooking me up with a Bartending job.

I NEED to get it, because everyone from the Yazaki factory are being Fired, apparently, the WST$2.00 per hour that they pay thier workers is too expensive.

I used to have respect for Yazaki, but fuck them - it may still be a business, and I understand thier motivation, but if they couldn’t contribute, they should’ve fucked off a long time ago.

I can’t even begin to talk about the “New Samoan Money”

have a look at it here (this internet cafe won’t allow me to save photos) eh! ki’o ia!

http://www.pagescoinsandcurrency.com/samoa-new-2008-issue-20-tala-p-3542.html

Some people love it, some people hate it, but was our country seriously in need of new money, before they could at least fix the sewerage systems in town? who the fuck does that?

So yep!

Samoa is phasing out the old tender and have introduced the new monolopy looking money.

Kinda Ironic, our Prime Minister would’ve been the metal head dog.

Its 4am in the morning - in a few hours, I leave my confinement of Melbourne, the Australian

equivalent of Seattle, Wellington, Paris?  Its my hometown, its what I’ve known as home for most

of my life, my mom lays here in Melbourne, so forever, my heart will be connected here.

I said goodbye to her again, its the beginning of another adventure since she’s passed, my moms always knew that I was always going to go to where-ever my heart lead me around this world, and I could see her smile, because she knows - I’ll always return to Melbourne, return to Australia, return to my momma.

I hate saying goodbye. Its one of those things which get me all choked up inside and I feel all googley and mushy.  I don’t know what it is? My soft cry-baby side?  I never really liked the fact that “goodbye” or even “goodbye for now” had such a deeper meaning to me.

To be honest, I’ve lost the excitement that I used to hold onto for weeks before I travelled somewhere.

For the first time, I’m not running away from something, someone, or a situation. (there you go, my weakness)

I used to be so fucked off at things around me, that my urge to pack up and piss off to somewhere foreign was my daily dream and wish, I had changed every background on whatever computer I was using to distant locations (who the hell does that?) besides my little attempt to keep myself motivated that maybe, just maybe! there was a place out there in the world that was better than my own surroundings.

Today, I leave - out of pure duty. I will be taking care of my (maternal) Grandmother, the mother to my mother, the mother to my mom’s who can’t do it no more, but I’ve gladly taken the role.

The older Samoans say that blessings come from looking after your elders and to be honest, thats why I’m doing it - I can get all the blessings I can, not for me, but for my sister (who’s expecting her first child), for my little brother (who just came out of Juvenile detention centre), for my other little brothers who have the world before them, and for everyone else in my family who has ALWAYS been there for me and my brothers and sisters.

I am blessed with the most beautiful family any Samoan can ask for. Fuck That, any Human Being can ask for.

I havent had the most perfect life, I contributed to most of the fuck-ups, so I hope our father up there in the big blue sky is looking down on me, please keep my whole family in Melbourne, and everywhere around the world - safe.

I have a great responsibility in my hands. My Grandmother, is a Grandmother to 45 Grand-children, 2 Great-Grand children, and a family spanning 4 Villages of Samoa.

Here’s to the city that I was born in, Auckland.

The city that raised me, Melbourne.

And the city, where everything else about me - will me made, Apia.

Tracey Chapman, sang a cover of Three Little Birds, Bob Marley.

Today - Its an old cover, but one of my favourite covers of all time.

Cover Art, and musicians singing other musicians songs is not old - and there are opinions out there

that it shouldn’t be done.

But maaaaan!! If you hear a great cover, it’ll make you fall in love with the original song (all over again)

My Favourite Covers (and don’t shoot me)

Redemption Song - Ben Harper (Rhianna’s version was Aiggghttt) but Ben did it with Soul.

Three Little Birds - Tracey Chapman

Save the Last Dance - Michael Buble (I hate this guy, for his undisputed cover record) but this song, was one of my mom’s favourites.

Turn Your Lights Down Low - Lauryn Hill & Bob Marley (Technically, a duet) but one of the best love songs of all time.

Crazy (Gnarls Barkley) - George

The Worst Covers

Redemption Song - Ms Dynamite

Umbrella - Mandy Moore (I hate this bitch)

Apologize - Some Samoan Band (Samoans kill alot of songs, but :/ who cares)

All Outta Love - Zipso

Can’t Help Falling In Love - (I can’t remember the name of the Pop Tart Group, nor do I give a shit, they killed it in Lilo & Stitch)

Singing Sweet Songs.. A melody sweet and pure.. This is my message to you - ou - u…

http://1samoana.com/samoanlyrics/ - Samoan Lyrics

You can all slap me later, but I can’t believe I’ve never made mention of the Samoan Lyrics corner.

Samoan Lyrics, is the reason why I’m here, I was searching for Lyrics to a song (and at the top of my head I honestly can’t remember) but it was here, that I found the link to 1Samoana.

Plus, it covers a few lyrics that is usually hard-to-find on the net - a great page to mark as favourite, you never know when you have those moment’s of “What the hell are the lyrics to that song?”

check it.

Amongst the sea of tourists, visitors the multitude of random-reason holiday makers, the clubbing in Samoa runs its course, as if the world never moved.

Armed with the clubbing culture of Brisbane, Sydney and my personal favourite, Melbourne.  Samoa oozes an attraction and a different sense of “fun” and enjoyment to this sub-culture of ka’a, clubbing is the same, but on a much lower level.

The “entrance” into a Melbourne club is about as important as the accessories and outfit you choose to make, to be honest, we all get dressed for that magical entrance where you walk in, and all the eyes are on you - because after the first 10 minutes of shallow greetings to the regulars (of whichever club) there is pretty much only drinking and meeting people left.

The enslaught of names and faces to remember in the Samoan club scene at first, was endless - but think about it? a small “religious” pacific island & clubbing, don’t usually mix - and once your “identity” is formed, you’ll begin to realise, that its mainly the Apia kids that are out to party.

I became close friends with the Vaiala boys that lived in Apia, the ganja sellers, the hip hop crew, the night-club bartenders & the faafafige’s.  They become the epitomy of cool kids on the block, if you did a shit in Vaiala, they’d be the first to know and within a 2 minute space, i’d recieve a voice-mail saying, eh! ki’o, fai mai jo ua e moe i le fale a mikey - and I thought technology was a bit behind in Samoa.

Digicel, in its infinite wisdom, has opted to give its pre-paid customers free voice-mail, a service that is used non-stop for its free deposit, and free withdrawl of a voice message - if you wonder why the kids of Apia never have thier phones on.. its because your cell needs to be off to recieve a voicemail - current process is switching your phone on every 10 minutes and if your popular enough to recieve a voicemail, you shall reply. Who needs credit? No one.

I got scared in the fact that when I get drunk, I sometimes do some very stupid things.  I can get away with my undercover shit that I do in Melbourne, but for the newbie living in Samoa, you need to calm that shit down, because your “image” will be ruined forever.

To my faafafige’s, they kept it real and were the only ones that spoke english to give me the downlow on how to ”club”.

Thou Shalt Never Wear A Jumper/Jersey/Long-sleeved top; as much as how chilly you may think it is outside, the temperature inside a Apia club rises so quickly, the sweat dripping from your ass has already evaporated before it hits the floor.

Thou Shalt Never Carry Your Cell Phone: the boys playing the pool tables have also mastered the art of pickpocket. Thought it was a Myth? It still happens… and so undercover, you won’t even hear about it.

Thou Shalt Never Say Your Leaving Soon: in any conversation with locals, always keep to the story that you’ve moved to Samoa.  Tourists and part-timers are the main target for “getting rolled”.

Thou Shalt Never Say Your Village: Samoa is small, if for any reason you mention your village, and lets just say you get into a fight later in the night, your poor village that you are so proud to promote, does not need rocks thrown at your family house - you are easier to find than you think.

Thou Shalt Never Take Weed From A Stranger: Obviously, undercover Police patrol Beach Road, and for a quick couple of hundred, locking up a tourist and hoping for a tip to be released earlier, is a quick meal ticket for the Night-shift at Apia Police Station.

Thou Shalt Leave the Sea-Wall before 2am: if you have a really good reason to be there, then thats great.  But just a local rule.

Thou Shalt start drinking @ 3pm at the latest it will make the 12am shut-downs more acceptable

The Clubbing Attire?

By all means, dress to you style, light-weight shirts and clean cut looks are best, don’t try and over do the make-up, trust me, it will run.  For guys, do your best to wear some kind of shorts, the shorts and jandles are the coolest way to enjoy the night without having to unstick your Gucci jeans from your sweat infested legs.

Who buys who what?

If its your family, friends, village friends: a round or two is not out of the question, if you intend to party for awhile, don’t make it a habit.

If they have decided to take you out, and shout you one round first, feel free to shout as much as you can.  If you have decided to go out and they’ve tagged along, feel free to shout only a few rounds (or if your just a suck up like me.. shout the whole night)

The Hook Ups?

If your game is to get laid, a hotel booking is a must. if your already in a Hotel. then go hard!..

Samoan Clubbing can offer some of the best music around town, the best dancing experience, and the meeting of some of the most coolest Samoans around.

Doing it with a good head on your shoulders will keep you from the ugly side of the experience.

Party HARD and Party Smart.

because you’d be fucked if you didn’t.