My Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance Love
How do you become to be in a long distance relationship? Does it start off as one or does it become one later in the relationship? You know someone who has been in one, is in one, or you yourself who was in one or is in one now. This isn’t about all those who are in one, or was in one, but this is about myself who is in one now.

When Kuanti and I first, I guess you can say “got togther,” I fell in love with him from the start. He made it hard for me not to fall in love with him. He made me laugh like no other. And having a sense of humor is a big turn on for me. He isn’t only funny but real smart as well and I can’t stand dumb brutes LOL. We would spend every minute with other. He became my partner in crime, and my best friend.

When we found out that he had to leave for a family emergency, I was heart broken. I was heart broken because he was going to leave me. We were going to be oceans apart. I wanted so much to tell him, “Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me. Stay.” But that would’ve made me selfish. That would’ve made me seem like I didn’t care about his family when in fact, I love them to death. So he went. He left.

All I could think of was how many other girls out there that are so much more beautiful than me. That he was soon going to forget me. That he would find someone else and the last night I saw him, was truly the last time I would see him as mine. I thought of how he would meet up with old girlfriends, maybe rekindle what they once had. Let me tell you, when Kuanti first left, I thought of a lot things or reasons why we’d be no more. But not once, did I ever tell him, or anyone how I felt about him being gone. When asked, I shrugged. I pretended not to care. In fact, I hated that he was far away. I just wanted him home already.

When he left, I didn’t hear from him until about a week later. We would call each other as much as we could and talked forever. Then phone calls, were less and it was more of emails, or leaving each other comments or sending messages through MySpace and One Samoana. I remember thinking, how sad is this? But it was the only way we could communicate with each other. As I was in Amerika Samoa, he was in Texas. Then from Texas, he went to Virginia, and I’m still in Amerika Samoa.

From one month to two, then three months, now 7 months. All I had left of him, was his blue shirt, and a framed picture of us. As you’re reading this, it seems like I’m telling a story of a loved one who has passed. No, but because of the distance between us, it seems more like we’re on two different planets. Please excuse me if it this seems depressing, but I promise you it does get better.

Being apart for the time that we are, I have to admit, this long distance is killing me. But all that we have gone through together, our love surpasses it all. We have seen our fair share of ups and downs, tears and laughter, screams and excitement. We have been through it all. Although I have to admit that I did second guess him more times than I can count. I mean, being so far apart from each other, I use to wonder if all that he said to me was really true. Was he playing me for a fool, or did he really mean all that he said to me? Everytime he said “I love you”, and “I miss you,” I use to think was he saying it just because I was saying it, and he was actually with someone else, or was he really telling me the truth? But when you’re in a long distance relationship, you find yourself second guessing. You can’t help it. So you ask yourself, “How do I know that he’s being true? How do I know that really does love me and is waiting for me?” For me, I just know. I cannot explain to you how. I’m just letting you know that I know. That I feel it. And as much as I love him, I know that he loves me too.

This long distance relationship is just another test for us. For not only Kuanti and I, but for all those who are going through it now. You love him or her, and feel that nothing can break what you have for each other. For Kuanti and I, it has been very hard. I will not suggest, nor recommend long distance relationships to anyone. Because not being with the one you love so much for so long, is the hardest thing anyone can do. There are always two sides to a coin and long distance relationship are just the same. It can make your love stronger or it can break it. For us, it has made it stronger than ever. And with each day, it gets stronger.

It will be another 3 1/2 months until I see his dorky smile again *smiles* and I cannot wait to see my burrito *laughs*.

The following two tabs change content below.

and in the words of leila..

Latest posts by and in the words of leila.. (see all)

14 thoughts on “My Long Distance Relationship

  1. thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and feelings about long distance relationship. I have been there with my husband of now six years. he was from thousands and thousands of miles and oceans away from me at the time we were dating and engaged.
    distance makes the hearts grow fonder and yonder, right? you know what you want and trust. trust me, having a long distance relationship is hard, but it makes your relationship and love stronger.
    hang in there suga… hang in there

  2. cherryk: its great to k now that people DO KNOW WHAT I’M TRYING TO WRITE HERE..lol it was just writing about my experience..and altho we were to be together earlier this year. it didnt happen. but we do plan on being together again. and nothing can or will stop us from making that happen. 🙂

    lakahbaby: how do u tell him to stay wen he is so focused on leaving? i know EXACTLY how you feel. for me, he needed to leave to be with his mother. aaaand he was really excited on leaving. to be in the US again. how could i tell him “please stay with me.” i couldnt. being selfish is the last thing i want to do. no matter wat it is. so i let him go. and it wasn’t letting him go forever. or at least i was praying it wasn’t that. but just as much as i was holding on, so was he. and honey, if you two know for a fact that you were put on this earth for just each other..it will all work out. trust! me and him..we’re still in the long distance relationship, but we’re still stronger than the day we first started.

  3. this is one awesome story !
    it kinda prepped me up on what’s will happen in the next two months.
    now that graduation is over -- friends are leaving one by one;
    &God knows when they will be back & reunite with the ones
    they left behind. My man is leaving in two months, he says “he wants to
    fulfill his dream….” i didn’t want to ask what his dream was,
    though it was all drowned out when he said that. i wanted
    to ask him to stay or TELL HIM TO STAY , but i felt tha same
    way you did -- “was i being selfish to even ask him to stay away from
    something his dreams? ; or to tell him to make up another dream”
    but know i kept my mouth shut , & silently cried on the phone & said
    no other long lines except for , “that’s nice” , “awesome” & other single replies!
    tha worst part of all this is that he’s leaving on the day before my birth”day” .
    for countless times i’ve waited til i turn 8teen so i can finally hold the keys
    to my first car -- &N0W ! i dn’t wnna do any more countdowns , or whatevers ;(
    i have thought about the same things you did before your man left ,
    & just reading ur article kinda made me feel that i’m not alone!
    but then again -- yours is still going strong . i just hope mine would
    do the same when he leaves the rock !

  4. awww suga… i know exactly what you mean..
    In the 2 years my hubby n I we were engaged, we only had been in eachothers presence for 5 weeks in total…. yep… u guessed it, rucked up a phonebill, internet bill you name it… lol.. flight bill hahahaha

    but it was all worth it, we have now been happily married (well, im happy, dont know about him… bahahahaha im kiddin) … for 14 months now… and we’re like best friends… and like you said…. our love is stronger than ever!!!…

    Good on yah gal!

  5. Oh man….. I’ll go Crazy if i dont see or hear from my BAD ASS!! lol…neva knew how much have fallen for this ga’o till now….

    WELL…. GOOD ON YOU FOR BEING STRONG!! and TRUSTING IN YOUR LOVE!!!… Thats what we need more of…TRUSTING GIRLFRIENDS! haha

  6. lolz… sad topic i dont like stories like this.. i try to keep myself away lolz its too damaged at The End

  7. lmao @ mana..ur such a drama queen..yet ur still awesome! lol

    LOR..
    i love that! corny stuff that is. everyone says im so damn corny. who cares? yea? lmao
    the moral of my story was just telling everyone that long distance relationships do work. i guess that didnt come out right *scratches head* but because of it, for me and kuanti, its a bond that not even the DEVIL himself can break. ever! oh and dont worry, when we’re reunited again, ill let you guys know…….:)

  8. wow! good for you suga! I WAS in a long distance relationship…i tried to make him wait a whole year before meeting up…as I didn’t want to rush it and wanted to really REALLY get to know him before progressing!

    We had very high phone bills…this was all before bestmate was around :p and we spoke on the phone everynight. We sent gifts, wrote letters, shared our artistic side (as we are both artistic). Spoke about sex, kids, family…everything!

    Yes it was difficult being so far apart…and you’re right…you learn so much in that time…about yourself and your partner. To kipi this story short…We are now happily married with 2 sons, and loving each moment together. As i’m typing…my husband foot is touching mine as he’s playing on his ps3 hahaha…corny…but love it!

    i look forward to hear how it all goes with you suga 🙂

    LOR

  9. Grrrrrrrrlfrend, fine and dandy… you see each other FEBRUARY… get it on/down/around/etc… then it’s separation time… then how long is it before ya feeling discouraged/depressed/alone/horney/shiet you know… you gonna put yourself thru it AGAIN?

    a’eeeeeeeeeee… tawk to meeh, grrrrrrrrrrrrl*i aint inda same situation--and dont ever want to be--but you know me, i’ll split in a fast minute before i find out, ehh?

    So you gonna be looking at the calendar, yo watch, counting da minutes, etc, while Life around chu passes you by? I dont get it BFF… ya killing meeh… i cant even find Eupho… i need to kick mooli… fea Eupho*biswhhhhhhhh*… she gonna show up and everyfing gonna be AOK… shieeeeeeeeet… b/b…

  10. I do seem more exhausted than ever because of it. *sighs*
    i guess because of the fact that we have been far away from each other for so long that it’s just killing me. no, he still says i love you after every sentence. and it isn’t him at all. its me. its the distance thats waying me down. and has been for several weeks. kuanti is awesome in every way and thinks of february as tomorrow. i wish i could do the same. i guess im just tired and really wanna see him already. i wanna see him, not look at pictures, i wanna hear his voice and through the phone. i wanna touch him, not imagine it……you know?
    and i dont mean to sound so depressing, its just…*sighs* im not really sure what exactly it is right now.

    mana, lol@hitched. neh! it wont be for the right reason. i dont want him to marry me because he will be gone for awhile. wat exactly will that do for me? we get married..big deal. its not why im down. im down because he isnt here. im down because i really really miss him. im down because im just tired. thats all. but thank you mana. seriously!!

    ulimasao, thank you! i love only him, so i cannot see myself with anyone else. and u wishing u werent here or werent ever born. dont ever think of urself like that. dont ever put urself down like that. they say its bad wen other put u down, but 100 times worse wen u do it to urself. ur family loves u. and u are a SAMOAN WOMAN! rise up and be the beautiful person that u are. i wish u all the best that life has to offer.

    veronica, all i can say is that when you leave it up to GOD, all will work out. IT ALWAYS DOES! yes, the pain is EXCRUCIATING. there is nothing else like it. and it may or may not be with him..now or never, or it could be someone else. but whatever happens, dont ever second guess urself. u follow what u believe in *points to chest* and never let anyone tell u otherwise!

  11. omg…..im curently IN one or at least i think…rite now i am mos. definitely confuse about our relationship…..and ULiMASAO i was laughin wen i read ur comment not because i was makin fun of it but the fact that where you at and where he is at its dha same exact places that me and my guy are…but the other way around tho..him being in hawaii and me in washington….we would be on the phone the second the sun rises til it sets (thats how long our conversations be) and every now and then he’ll always say “i love you” and he also proposed to me and of course i said yes but up until a couple weeks ago he started acting all weird..phone calls got less and hardly send me any wake-up texts cause he was like my personal alarm clock…lol….but like i said he was acting hecka weird lately ever since he got back from samoa 🙁 and now im starting to question myself….WAS IT SOMETHING I DID OR SAID? i text’d him couple days ago he didnt even bother to replied back ….. this pain inside of me is excruciating and unexplainable….wish we could go back and start all over again from scratch…been friends for 3 years and this is the first time ive seen him like this 🙁

  12. hey. man just reading your story.. it’s so true.. wells i’ve been in probably 3-5 long distant relationship before.. and only one i had so much trust in and i feel so in love with him. and i couldnt stop thinking about him.. and we’ve been together for 3 months.. and till that 3 months came it all tear apart. he didnt have that trust no more.. i guess he couldnt stand that fact that we’re far apart from each other. i just wish that we could fix the problem up and start all over again. and hopefully he would help build a stronger trust in each other and that we would’ve made 5 months 1 week and 1 day of this month.. but i guess he couldnt stand the fact that i’m here in hawaii and he’s over there in washington.. but yeah.. and it’s kinda true. that a long distant relationship can never work out. so that’s why i’m trying to stay away from long distant and even if were close by because i’ve been hurt so much not even one could last a life time with me, but they love to play around with my fatu or what not hurt me so badly that they never really loved me in the first place.. and to make me have this painful inside of me that just cant go away.. but at times i try and try my hardest to take away those pains by the people surrounding me—> my friends, loved ones.. and i dont even know if i could count on my family on this kinda stuff. they never do listen to what i have to say… sometimes i feel like my family never did loved me and they wished that i was never born and i feel the same way too… i just wished i was never born or was never present in this world. wells hope you 2 work it out and ya’ll just stay strong and keep it real.. and the most important of them all is too have trust in each other and always have love for each other.. take it eazy now you too.. much alofas to the both of you guys.. and wish the best of the best luck for the both of you guys.

  13. My Long Distance Relationship… think… how can I think? When all I can do is feel for my feleni and her words… think… I don’t have the Heart to think about the hardship I feel for my feleni… think… I feel my feleni wouldn’t be going through hardship if her BEAURITOE had taken reins, gotten hitched, and lived happily ever after… think… LeiLei, my feleni, you do the thinking… I know you, not him… I will be here when there is no thinking to do, k?

    My loves are for you, dear feleni…com

Say something...