Matai or No Matai – that is the question

Since we’re in Matai Season, I got a call a couple months ago from an Uncle of mine asking me to consider being a Matai for my mums family. I was like “Huh? ME?” and my Uncle gave me the whole “its time you stood up and become a Matai, you are the only one here in Samoa from your family and I suggest you consider and talk to your parents about it. You can be a Matai Alii (highest rank of Matai, has a speaker to do all the talking, gives the Yay or Nay before a decision is made) or Matai Tulafale (is the speaker for the Alii, the Matai that speaks for funerals, weddings etc) I told my Uncle I will consider it and get back to him.

Now, being a Kiwi Girl who has some knowledge of Faasamoa (definitely not an expert though) I was honoured that my Uncle would even consider me for a Matai Title – that alone was awesome. I thought of the Culture and what it involves and broke it down between the 2 titles and asked myself the hard questions as to me it is a big responsibility:

MATAI ALII – Highest Ranking Matai in the Village/Family

  • Will I be comfortable sitting with the High Chiefs that have worked all their lives for the family/village (Tautua)
  • Will I be comfortable being the only female Matai Alii sitting in with the elders who are more than twice my age
  • Do I have enough faasamoa under my belt to make big decisions for the family
  • Do I have enough wisdom to make the right decisions
  • Do I know enough Samoan language to understand what is spoken at Fogos
  • Am I financially able to fork out at any given time when there are funerals, weddings or any type of faalavelave’s or fundraisers?
  • Can I even afford the fee of one thousand?

MATAI TULAFALE – Speaker for the Matai Alii

  • Do I have enough Samoan Language to speak at Fogo’s and do Lauga’s
  • Do I have enough confidence to do a Lauga
  • Do I have enough understanding to answer another Matai’s Lauga
  • Do I know enough Samoan language to understand what is spoken at Fogos
  • Am I financially able to fork out at any given time when there are funerals, weddings or any type of faalavelave’s or fundraisers?
  • Can I even afford the fee of five hundred?

I know there are various opinions on Matai’s and what it means, this is what it means to me and isn’t a thing that can be taken lightly. I think I only answered yes to maybe 2 of the questions I asked myself. I then called my parents and discussed it with them.

DAD: Was happy I was considered and told me to go for it – but he would rather I be a Matai for his family instead (haha) he said he will pay the fee on whichever Matai I decide (but was leaning towards the Matai Alii – no talking higher rank)

MUM: Was happy I was considered and asked me what I thought about it – told her that I don’t feel comfortable with a Matai Alii cos I feel for the elders that have worked their whole lives for the Family/Village (Tautua) and then I come along and get either equal or higher ranking then them. She agreed and commended on me on thinking this through.

They both did say however that I should make the decision and if I go through with it then they will pay the fee. I was going to ask if they could send the fee anyway even if I don’t go through with it but decided against it hahaha

Soooo, The Matai’s were done last week – and I didn’t take part. Even though I have all the confidence in the world, am proud to be female and kickin’ it, want to embrace my culture and get involved… I couldn’t accept as I feel like I am not ready. For the Matai Tulafale I need to brush up on my Faasamoa both understanding and speaking to the level where I can answer another Lauga without batting an eyelid lol For the Matai Alii I need more maturity, understanding of the Language, get to know my family more by extra visits, get more involved in village fogo’s, activities, family gatherings… AND THENNNN seriously consider taking up the call for a Title. Financially we are ok – but since our youngest baby girl is 2months old I didn’t want our family to be put into a position where we would have to sacrifice our children’s needs to fork out for Matai stuff which I see happening a lot here in Samoa. So not financially able as well, So maybe look again next year God willing.

We all have our thoughts and opinions, this is mine 🙂 All the best to those who are taking up the challenge – Good on yah!

Six Years Later…. Still in Samoa!

Seriously kinda went cross eyed getting back into my blog after so long…

Guess its time for an update!

WHERE AM I – am still kicking it in Samoa, yep after all these years I can still handle the jandal. Wouldn’t say it has been smooth sailing especially in the early years but I am still here. Wouldn’t call it home just yet Saute Aukilani, NZ will always be home – All Blacks for Life! 🙂 Happy to say though that I am used to it now and apart from missing KFC & BK and my family to dear bits its been ok aye

HOW DID I SURVIVE SAMOA? I can tell you now that you need Patience and you truckloads of it! For those of you that want to move here but are trying to stack up the pro’s and con’s… here’s some tips that might help you out (or make you change your mind!) this is my perspective as a Kiwi moving to Hamoland

  • You need to accept everything will change dramatically, I guess it aint as bad as it was before when I first moved here, you can find like 80% of the stuff you have overseas! might not be the same brands or quality though but still its here now! e.g. L&P – Kiwi Drink I almost kissed the fridge when I saw this!!! even though it was $6tala a bottle that was 6tala well spent 🙂
  • Another thing is you need to tell yourself that your wages might be different then your wages back home. e.g. I was earning $65K p.a back home doing despatch work but came to Samoa and started at the bank for $8K and that was 6yrs ago… Minimum wage at the moment is $2.50tala but if you have degrees/masters then I think you’ll be ok – might also take time to find a job, just be patient! (FYI not at the bank anymore 🙂 )
  • You will need to be open minded about EVERYTHING! people, scenery, food,  people oi did i say that already? lol Its kinda gotten easier over the years but when I first came i had some really bad experiences with People (mainly girls) hating on me cos I was from NZ. Still get that odd look or stab in the back but other than that im good. Cos im a Kiwi and we are very much down to earth people… until you piss us off haha SCENERY – well if you have been here before then you know that there are only a few buildings and heaps of churches!! Like everywhere! Town is beautiful though! well pretty much everywhere is beautiful. I came from Saute Aukilani and hardly see mountains and greenery so was a big change – a welcoming one at that FOOD – pretty much you can find most ingredients if you wanna cook something up! Sundays is pretty much Umu day but there is also options to buy Umu and all the kuka’s on Sunday… a bit pricey but hey, better than slaving away in the kitchen & umu house. Fast Food Joints – only international place they have is MacDonalds and theres only 1 in Upolu. Majority of restaurants are Asian but you can find a few Italian, Indian and many Cafe’s & Seafood Restaurants as well. Plus the normal Market Food where you kind find the famous fried pork buns with Chilli Sauce!
  • PEOPLE – had to put this one on its own cos it deserves the attention! WARNING WARNING haha Not all people are bad – I have made some great friends over the years which I now consider family – like closer to me than my actual ext relatives here. But then you meet people which are so judgemental that analyse your every move, your style of dress, the way you raise your kids, your house, your husband, your job and even go as far as trying to ruin your life! HMMM think ima save this for my next post haha But People are different, and it depends on the environment you will be living in, working in going to church in lol so don’t take my word for it, just don’t be too trusting when you move here… always be suspicious hahaha CSI/FBI tactics but don’t over do it! Stalking is a NO NO 🙂 cos they have their own type of stalkers here lol

Just ignore all the Negative and inhale the positive and bring truckloads of PATIENCE….there goes that word again 🙂 and always always remember that HOME is just a Plane ride away…

But if you are stubborn like me cos you have Savaii blood running through your veins – you will never take the easy way out… No Surrender! Where’s the Fire? 🙂

And with that I bid you Tofa Soifua until next time…

 

 

The Drunk Quiz (from Kilifi’s page…. lol)

Ok, I miss drinking (even tho’ it was just last week… lol) so I copied this from Kilifi’s Page and filled it in… lol Thanks Griff!

1. When I’m drunk, I tend to…..
Dance alot and laugh at nothing… the smile on my face is stuck there…

2. Shots or beer?

Shotties!…. followed by beer…

3. Do you have a drinking buddy?
Helll yeahhhh… everywhere I go I have a drinking buddy, each club I go to she’s there with me… cos she’s my sober driver,… thanks sis…

4. Do you get angry?
not really, I save the anger for when Im sober… hehehe

5. Do you puke?

Ahhh sometimes, when I mix my drinks… say I’ve had 6 bourbons, then a shot of Tequila, then a couple of vodka’s…. yeah… thats what I call a mix...
6. After 7 drinks who are you?

Im still the same, Im just an extra dirty dancer, extra loud laugh-er, extra mocker, extra everything… but still the same…
7 Drinks closer to my ideal weight..
If I did that I’d be dead from Alcohol Poisoning…
8. Tequila makes you?
Feel like I know what Im doing with the Lime & Salt lmao… but really its just o’oga as and you’re wasting masima….

10. Vodka makes you?
Tipsy & turn into Beyonce…

11. Do you smoke when you drink?
Yep, I smoke more

12. Do you pass out?
Yep, In Samoa this happens, but here in NZ NOOOWAYYY! maybe its the heat!

13. Do you drink girly drinks?
Yep, because I have to…. because Im a wife now, and have to drink wifey drinks…

14. Do you drink alone?
Nope! no fun!

15. Worst drink you have ever had?
Coruba RUM! ewwww Yuckkkkk…

16. Do you play drinking games?
Only if I know I can win

17. Favorite Beer?
Heineken

18. What is your favorite shot?
Jager/Zambucka/Malibu

19. What will you NOT drink?
Coruba!… yuck!… even if it was the last drink on earth…!! I’d just convert to drugs…

20. Are you a lightweight when it comes to alcohol?
Im like middleweight leaning towards heavyweight…

22. Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver?

Nope..

23. Do you like frozen drinks?
Hell yeah.

24. Do you drink liquor straight?
Only if I like haaavvveee to… Like in a shot! cos then I get burned and have to put on a str8 face like it tastes like Pamol. But with the famz, oi leai la… you gonna see all my ugly facials up in ‘ere…

25. Do you ever drink out of the bottle?
Yep!

26. Are you drunk right now???
Nope, as you can see Im spelling my words correktly… 😉

27. Do you consume more than 2 alcoholic beverages on daily basis?
Nope, cos then I wouldn’t be able to stop at 2….

28. Do you drink a lot of wine?
Nope, I dont get how people can drink it like its Coke?… with the str8 facials

29. When’s the last time you drank?
a week too-long ago…

30. Name someone that will repost this drinking survey?
Dunno

31. Ever been streaking when drunk??
Nope, cos I feel sorry for all the poor people that will see me… not cos Im ugly or anything but cos husbands would leave their poor wives and chase after me… (wata confident guy… lol)

32. Hot tub/pool naked because of alcohol?
Nope…

33. Failed any college courses due to alcohol alone?
Nope…

34.Ever woken up and said dude wheres my car??
Yeah… did that a few times! but I always realise 5min later that Im at work and I magically parked it in the carpark after a night in town? I dunno… Im just one of those lucky ones I guess…

35. Ever carried someone up & down the same flight of stairs?
Helll Nahhhh… u crazy? its hard enough for me going up and down the stairs…

36. Puked in a friend’s car?
Nope, but I know someone who puked out the taxi window..hahahaha and the window was closed… hahahaha… ok that was my hubby… awww good times good times…

37. What is the last liquor you drank?
Kahlua… on the rocks with a lil milk…

… and now that thats done… Ima go have a couple Kahlua’s…. lol…

The Unexpected Blessing…

Its funny how things turn out, how things fall into place, how the unexpected happens. Thats what happened to my MR & I….

For the first year of MR & I’s marriage whilst we were in Samoa, we had a few setbacks trying for a child. I cannot tell you how disappointing it was waiting each month just to find out we were unlucky… It was HARD! especially getting the looks from people thinking there was something wrong with me. Yeah, like pick on me cos Im from Overseas lol

The first few months of marriage we were still in shock over the whole Marriage thing knowing that the next step would be to add to our family. Sooo after 5months of trying the excitement wore off, and it turned into panic. People in the village were asking questions, family & friends were giving us the pity look. After 9 months of trying we were ready to give up! Dont get me wrong, the trying part was fun, but the waiting anxiously for a positive sign wasn’t.

Thru those months we buried ourselves in work, partying & family obligations, I travelled more, and the subject didn’t come up again. Then after a year in Samoa, we moved to NZ to be with my family. We had given up on adding to our family. Prayer after prayer was sent to the man above to bless us, we started to think we had been neglected for some reason. We started to look at eachother and ourselves and started to pin point reasons why it wasn’t happening. Again, we buried ourselves in work, our social lives were pumpin’! lol so much freedom! we went out nearly every week, I worked at a couple of clubs! It was great! Then the unexpected happened.

After a couple months in NZ, MR & I went to the docs for a check up, I was feeling sick, dizzy & feverish. The nurse asked me for a sample to do the pregnancy test. I laughed and told him “ahh, its a waste of time, I can’t get pregnant!” and he said “sorry its procedure”. So I did one anyway. Five minutes later the nurse says “congratulations, you are pregnant, you’re going to be a mum” and Im like “huh? WTF…. ” and the nurse repeated himself….

I stood there dazed, confused. I looked out to the MR in the waiting room, and he was staring at me with the “are you nearly finished?” look. I called him to come over. I told him “hun, sit down… Im pregnant” he then looked at me like “WTF?” then he continued to stare into space, and looked like he was going to faint!…

That was the happiest day of our lives and that was 8months ago. Im happy to say we have the new long awaited addition to our lives who is 1 week old today. Our beautiful baby boy “JERICHO”. Our lives now evolve around him.

There isn’t a minute in the day that we dont thank the man above for remembering us, and for listening to our prayers. There isn’t a minute in the day where we dont look at eachother and smile at this lil man who is part MR part ME. (his cuteness comes from me…. his nappy fillings come from MR LMAO)

The reason for this post is to give hope to those who are waiting for their prayers to be answered….. dont give up… it’ll happen. Just like it did for us.

Back in Kiwiland…..

OMG, how about Im still buzzing & teary eyed that Im still hooked on to here lol…

sorry guys, its been a hell of a last few months for me… especially the move to sa, back to nz, back to sa and now  back in nz wit my hubby this time… honest to who… its been HECTIC!!!

I miss sa sooooo damn much. I know I hated it when I was there, but its like when you leave something you hate, you end up missin’ it or somethin’… (or is that just me? hehe)

THINGS I MISS…..

I miss Griff aka KILIFI aka spunky aka THE “who to go to guy” aka “the one that knows all my choozy segrets, and all the amio valearingz I did over there” *winks @ griff* I miss you bro! but I know u algud there, cos u got the bestest job & salary & you create ur own fun…. (but seriously bro, if u write about my amio valearings on here, just pretend its someone else…. like… Heinz or Famz… hahahahahaha)

I miss Georgies Pizza, which they create for more than a couple of people to 1 pizza, but me n the hubby peel it back on our own like we just finished a 400 hour famine….

I miss keke pua’a… HARD! I miss Sunrise…. oh mayn… their spicy chicken ROCKS!!!!

I miss the funny stuff people do, like how they reply in english, when you just asked them something in Samoan… yep… too funny mayn.. Or when they hump ur leg when you oga pipilo off your face @ crabbers…. I heard… thats what happened… *ahem*

I miss  my famz… Granny!… many kuluku aunts n uncles as well… yes, even tho’ u guys are sad like that… Ima still luv you guys…. cos I kinda have to… cos you guys keep ringin’ n writin’… cos I cant get away from you guys…. cos I can’t afford to move further away…. LOL… nahhh, i luv u guys…

THINGS I DONT MISS…

WORK… seriously… you would think that Banks get paid heaps.. but nup… our cleaners got paid more than us… seriously!… i dont miss it aye….

INLAWS… well, i kinda miss them, but when I THINK or ALL that HAPPENED… then it kinda slides in the “dont miss columns”… Ima save that for another post… hehehehe

INSECTS/MOZZIES… i dont have to tell you guys why… lol

Yeah, Im back at home now, due to my parents being sick… but now Mr’z here wit me, so we gonna give it a go here… yep… well we gonna try… hehehe… and to all those asking me if we’re lucky…

NO, we are not lucky…. for some reason its either his soldiers are drunk… or my ladies livers are stuffed and they are permanently drunk… either or….

Luv yahz

The day is finally here! Our wedding DAY!

The day had finally arrived…. FINALLY!!!! after 3 years of living in seperate countries, using all methods imaginable to keep in touch, thousands of dollars spent on flights just to spend time together, not to mention the hundreds on my parents power bill for PC communication, the hundreds on phonecards and much much more…. FINALLY the day had come where we can live together, in the same country hehehe The other reason why Im happy is cos, I made it to my wedding day…. Hiding-free… YEAH! woohoo!

My day went like this, since the service was set for 4pm in the afternoon, I had plenty of time…. or so I thought…

8am – Sleeping Peacefully

9am – Still Sleeping Peacefully… well trying too, people making noises…

10am – Mum wakes me up with a couple of jabs & kicks (mums the COMBO QUEEN!!)

10.10am – I finally get up… not that I had a choice… everyones already up, bustling around, some are panicking hahahaha its quite funny really… hehehe

10.30am – Fastest Toothbrushing/Facewashing/Shower/Toilet Break in HISTORY. Courtesy of my DAD encouraging me with those fearful, but loving words…

11am – we leave to head to town, checking with the florist, buing last minute accessories. DAMN IM HUNGRY!!!

11.10am – Eating Pagikeke’s with coffee, YUM! tagging along with the “Panic Duo” my mum & sis Shar

12.30pm – Dads dragging me to go with him, MC & uncles to Maota to check reception Set-up

1pm – 1 of my Uncles and I are driving all over town trying to find ice, apparently they want truckloads… seriously?

2pm – Uncles x 4 and I are loading trucks to take alcohol/pigs/snacks/decor to Maota

3pm – Still at Maota making  plans with Dad regarding programme & setup. Ahh, I dont think Dad & uncles realise Im the one thats getting married today.

3.30pm – Finally going home to get changed, bridesmaids are already dressed. Fastest Shower in History, broke previous record from this morning

4.15pm – CHANGED! hehehe yep you know me. Its an In & Out Operation. Cuzzy’s doing my hair, while Shar is painting my face. SHYT, i think I put on weight… must be from the pagikeke’s this morning *ahem*

4.30pm – We load into our cars to take us to church. HERE we COME!

On the way to church, I was soooo friggin nervous! partly cos our cars were having a race on the way hehe excitement to the end huh! But I was feeling nervous cos of what was about to happen. Wow in a few minutes, I’d be someones wife, and I would adopt a husband at the same time… SHYT!

We arrived at the church and I was still in shock, partly cos I just realised that we were late, had no bouquets (mum n dad stopped off to pick them up) and everyone from Mr’s family were getting frustrated as we were late. Like I cared, I mean… they tried to get us to start walking in, but my parents & the bouquets hadn’t arrived…

5pm – Parents arrived with bouquets & its time to go inside. 1 last pic with my “single ladies” before we start “CLICK”. My girls start walking in now.

FEELINGS AT THIS TIME: Nervous, Scared, Hungry, Excited, Tired

THOUGHTS AT THIS TIME: WTF am I doing? OMG WTF am I doing? I cant believe Im doing this, OMG ok ok, smile, smile hardout, dont cry… look forward, smile smile look forward……. 

All the girls are thru, Everyone stands (does it have to be so quiet? DRAMATIC!) Me n my Dad enter… even when walking down, Dad whispers his words of encouragement…. to keep my foot in sync with his…

The service was good, with a few touching moments, like Dads speech which brought everyone to tears, especially when he said (in Samoan) “If ever you stop loving my daughter, return her to me, bring her to my arms, and then you go on your way”

I couldn’t help thinking though that it was a trap hahahahaha for the MR I mean I imagined my dad saying “bring her to my arms, then I will shoot you, and beat you that day” lol serious, I was gonna laugh… We said our vows in Samoan, which I had a hard time doing… But it all went well, our service lasted 45 minutes then finish…. I was a Wifey. It was surreal, I now had a partner for life.. that both families approved of, that God approves of.

RECEPTION

After the service, the was Punch outside the church. No no no not a punch up (although I felt like one at the time) but an alcoholic punch. Then everyone headed to Maota while we went to take our pics @ the government building. The Reception was jam packed, had a few mishaps in the beginning before we arrived. To stop my blood pressure from rising to its limit, i’ll just say “Mr’s family did some things they shouldn’t of, which nearly resulted in my Dad giving me a hiding before we enter the reception”… *ahem* moving along….

We had planned for 400 people, and I think we made the mark. Luckily we had enough food/booze to cater for more. Our cake was beautiful, laid in my dark dark red colours on the 23 tiers for my birthday number. We had more glitches, but we cleared it up…. in the end…

There were performances from both sides, since Hubby’s famz specialize in Raro/Hawaiian/Tahitian dancing, we opted for Tongan & Samoan dances from my side. It was really good!

Everything was normal from the tasting of the cake, to the 1st Waltz but I must say, our Sagone Tigers stole the show on the dancefloor!!! hahahaha

Everyone enjoyed themselves. It was great! I managed to get it together in the end and try “siva samoa” for our girls dance…. I tried! hahaha Our bar ran dry just in time too we brought 50 x 24 Vailima crates, 40 bottles of red/white wine, 24 x 24 Jolly drink packs, 100 tins of peanuts, 50 packets of Mega Pack Bluebird Chips, Numerous Fruit Platters, and that was just for snacks. It was well prepared, the Maota catered for the heavy food, and everyone took at least 2 plates each home with them. We even brought beer from NZ and the Maota bar was open for those wanting more alcohol. The reception came to an end at 11.30pm

By midnight I had a mean headache, I was tired, hungry, thirsty (was trying not to look hungry & alcoholic like, so stuck to juice during the recep!) both our lines went out to Crabbers afterwards in their attire even! hahaha what brave dudes… but Hubby and I called it a night, as we had koana’i with both families the next morning.

Family Feast

Well we had a pretty big feast the next day with 2 pigs cooked for it. Hubbys family came over, then we opened our gifts. We received so much which we are forever greatful for, and the day ended well, with endless supplies of Household goods and a total of 6500+ tala & 400nz dollars. I am soooo glad its over!

would I do it again? Helllll NOOOOO, but I wouldn’t mind going to someone elses… hehehehehe…,

The week leading up to the wedding….. and the hidings in between…lol

Its been a while… Im back now thanks to N95 & PC… hooray! I wrote this blog (like actually wrote with pen n paper!!! like WTF? who does that nowadays right? well, ahhhh i do) so that when I got the chance I’d upload it…

Ok 1 week out from the wedding, and I’ve seriously had enough! Honestly…. does it have to be a grand affair? I mean if its our wedding why we trying to please others? spending thousands to make others happy and ourselves broke? lol

As you know from my previous posts Im the worst person to get married. Well this is how bad it is. 1 week left and….

-still havent found 2 guys to replace my 2 guys from NZ that couldn’t make it last minute

-havent fitted the girls dresses or even seen the bridesmaids dresses

-Having problems with the pastor (for the sake of getting cursed, I will leave it at that!)

-Cant find my shoes for the wedding that I remembered I packed…. I think…and also forgot to get Mr’s shoes for the wedding also from NZ…

All these things I have to get done in 3 days…. Mon 29th Dec – Wed 31st of Dec as the stores close on the 1st & 2nd of Jan & the wedding is on the 3rd. Yes for some reason, I like putting myself in these challenging positions

But I am happy to say, that I managed to sort all these out by the night before the wedding… dont ask how, cos it involves “fast n the furious” driving skills, con-artist motives, criminal acts, and illegal doings…. ok ok the last 2 I did mentally hehe honestly, if you see the prices of shoes here, it would make you wanna commit murder… seriously!

On the home front, my dad was the one with the murderous thoughts, how about I was trying my best not to get a hiding from my dad in the 2 weeks leading up to the wedding…. Yep dad was stressing over money.. You know how you try explain things to your dad, that it’ll be ok, and your dad hugs you and says “I know my daughter, because I have faith in you” you know that scene? well…. it never happened with me lol it was more like

“Dad dont worry, the money will be enough since everything is paid for already” and my loveable Daddy says “Kapugi lou guku e! aua le fiapoko, ke maga’o ouke alaku iiga sasa pala ai lou ulu? Eke vaai iai E le lava loa le kupe, ua’e vaai loa lo’u faasaga e fa’agaui ou vae e?” *shivers with fear*

Translation: “Shut your mouth ok?dont be a smartass, do you want me to come there and beat your head into a pulp? You’re gonna see, if this money isnt enough for the wedding then you’re gonna see me break your legs ok?”

Someone’s been watching too many mafia movies right? hehe hehe But yeah, everyone’s stress levels were on high! But I understood Dad though. You know how Samoan Parents think. Even thought everythings paid off, they still want money to hold just incase. But the amount was shocking though, it was 10,000tala… to hold just incase… up until the rehearsal night the tension between my family (well actually just between me and my dad) was soo much, that I had to call on past solutions, drastic measures taken when I knew I was gonna get a sassing…I came up with a plan…

You remember those days as a kid, where you knew you were gonna get a hiding? then miraculously your relatives show up for a visit, but you also know that it doesnt matter how long they stay over for, your dads still gonna beat your ass after they leave? and you cant ask for permission to go with them to their house when they leave cos of course you’ll get a 2nd hiding for trying to escape. So instead you tell your cuszzies to sleep over… for your protection…. Well, I did it again!! hahahahaha ENTER my BRIDESMAIDS… yep thats how bad it was, once the girls came over (my nieces & cousins) things chilled out, my ultimate goal was to “not get a hiding before the wedding” so yeah it worked.

The lead up to the wedding took all the excitement of being a bride out of me, and my family. It was like we were planning a mission, like a military mission, that everything had to be perfect or we might all blow up or something. Even at rehearsals, dad was in my ear telling me which foot to put first and repeating “left right left” etc

By the time the rehearsals were over, I just didn’t want to have a wedding. We actually contemplated taking off to get married privately, but then our wedding would’ve had a military finish, with dad coming after us with a sapelu or something similar….

Im just glad you only get married once…. no offence to those who can endure this ceremony more than once… but for me ONCE IS ENOUGH!!!!

Life outside the box…

03/03/09

Well,  its been a long time since I’ve seen everyone… Its been 3 months since I’ve touched down in my new country Samoa… I had sooo many things to say, but when you only have 10min left to use the net… ahhhh, well you get my drift..

Samoa, in some ways, wasnt what I expected it to be. Lets just say Love hides ALOT! and it wasn’t until the wedding died down, and my family left that the REAL samoa presented itself… Dont get me wrong, I love my husband soooo damn much, he’s the only reason why Im still here, getting bitten by the monster mozzies… but everything else seems… unreal…. in a bad way LOL

Was the move worth it?

Yes in a way, as to tell you the truth, the struggles we’re having here is bringing us together. Our bond is stronger than ever. I guess its the fact that I no longer have the power to just go to the ATM whenever I want and withdraw money that is always there…. or pop down the road to famz n friends whenever I feel like a bitching session… LOL freedom is lost, but other feelings replace it.

I’ve had a big wake up call being here, and everyday I learn new things about LIFE that I wouldn’t even have been able to go through back home in NZ. So many things I took for granted back home, but those same things I cherish here, now in Samoa.

Am I Happy?

Marriage-wise, I am the happiest wife there is on this planet! my husband is the most loving person there is! I kinda had some insane moments a while back, and a good friend and a honourary bro pulled me out of it! Yep Kilifi! he’s like my mentor & councillor. We’ve had enough coffee outings that Im sure Ima stay awake for the rest of the week! hahahaha… but its good, even if I have this 1 friend in Samoa with me, thats all I need!

So as I sit here, next to my buddy Kilifi, bashing the keyboard with my ramblings as fast as I can before my time runs out, still waiting for the coffee we ordered 20minutes ago… LOL. I think about what I left behind, I think about how easy it is to give up and go back, I think about the money waiting to be made back home,

but then I think about my husband, the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with….

And I decide to stay, for as long as it takes…. Im staying here…

 

The impacts of friendship…

4/7… the teary thoughts of a Saddened Brown Woman…

Today is my last day here at my Workplace. Yep after 5 years I am finally hanging up my coat (well, actually my Supervisor’s Shirt hehe) and swiping my card for the last time. Today has been a really emotional day for me.

When I started here at work, I was 22yrs old. I started as a Admin Support Officer. Which in our language is “bumgirl to the actual Administrator” hehehe I never thought I’d stay here that long, and made many transitions to where I am now “Despatch Supervisor” I’ve seen many temps progress from not knowing anything to becoming Leading Hands/Foremans/Administrators.

I never knew how much I put into my staff, until a fellow worker who used to be working in my divisions came up to me this morning. He is an Indian man, who started as a temp, and his following speech brought me to tears.

“Cherry, I am going to miss you sooo much. You are one of a kind. I have never met any boss so loving, caring, forgiving, patient with a sense of humour before. When I worked for you, you saw me as a “Friend First, Employee Second” Even though I left your care 2 years ago, I have never forgotten your teachings, and I strive to be like you eachday, calm cool & collective. Whenever I come to you for help you never turn your back on me. Even when you are busy, you stop everything you are doing to help me out. I came into this country 2 weeks before I started with you, and I am so grateful for your kindness to me, making me feel welcome. I come here this morning to offer my best wishes, shake your hand for the last time, and give you a hug of gratitude. You will never be forgotten. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best in your marriage, and your new life. I will pray for you daily, and your new life. I will sincerely miss you.”

By this point I was in tears. I never knew I made an impact on anyone’s life before. The things I do, I do it as that is the sort of person I am, and coming from an Indian Man, who in their country Men dominate Women, this really made my morning…

Before I leave this place, even if only this Man said thanks to me, for everything I have done…. I will be content, I will walk away from this place happy that I have made this impact on someone, and even after 2 years since working for me, he has come back to thank me in person.

I now leave here with a new outlook on life, now that I know what we do today, tomorrow or the day after will alter someone’s life. So I take this notion with me to Samoa on Saturday Morning. I leave this place with a feeling of saddness but also happiness that I was noticed, and my work here has been noticed, by someone I least expected to give a shit about me…. LOL

Thanks to Kumar… You really made my day mate!!!!…

Boyish Bride Antics…..

3/7 Ramblings of a crazy brown boyish woman…LOL

Yes, I am the 2008 recipient of the “wrong person to get married” Award. Yes we had a discussion with my friends & family, and we’ve come to this conclusion.

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: Its an honour to receive this award, excuse me for my tears, Im just sooo happy. I didn’t prepare a speech as I thought I wouldn’t win (but really) I thank my Parents for their upbringing & dressing me like my brothers, which in turn made me dislike dressess, make-up, girly colours/styles. I want to thank my brothers for their help in my upbringing too, helping me work up a hatred towards shopping for anything, other than car models/car parts/music/games & consoles. I would especially like to thank my Dad, my mentor… for teaching me about cars, and while other girls were shopping with their mothers, I was under the hood changing fanbelts LMAO I wouldn’t be standing here today if it wasn’t for you all! Love you!!. *takes a bow & EXIT,s*

To me there are 2 types of Brides. The No.1 bride that has dreamt about her wedding at least once in their life………. and ME… the No.2 bride that needs to be reminded that she is getting married…

It didn’t occur to me until my co-workers started asking “so what shoes are you wearing on your day” and I was like “huh?”. Yep, 4 weeks out from the wedding…

– Havent brought my shoes & garments (to wear under dress)

– Just picked up my Veil yesterday (cos mum pratically fuki-ed (pulled) my hair out of the house! LOL (afterwards I was looking @ the veil thinking… “ewww.. I’ll be wearing that?” LOL)

– Haven’t brought any accessories/make-up or have any hairstyle in mind on what I want

– Was just told that I need to do my nails or something like that? something about French? EH..

Pretty much all I have is a dress, which I dont actually have at the moment, because I kinda set my dress late, and my first fitting is today @ 1pm… hehehe Yes I’ve learnt my lesson from yesterday, and will actually make time to go to the fitting LOL unless I want the bald look on my wedding day….hmmmm

So my family came to the conclusion that “I am the worst person to get married”. The other thing would be, how we were packing our Pusa’s (boxes/crates) to send to Samoa. My dad said “ok pack all the stuff you need to take & we’ll put it in the crate” so what does bride No.2 do? She packs all her car collection, her posters, her cd’s, her car magz into a huge box…. and remembers when she gets to the place to pack the crates… that she forgot to pack any clothing or shoes…(after Dad asked her…) 

Yes… that is how ma’i I am.. to the point where I am rushing around this afternoon to buy girly shoes because I dont have any girly shoes for my Hens Nite Tonight. Since I am the “le kea about whats going on” kind of person. I packed all my clubbing clothes into the crate. (Dad had to set up a 2nd Crate cos I forgot my clothes etc) now I have to run around and look for clothes for Tonight.

I even forgot that we need rings for the wedding… LOL it wasn’t until my fiance called me and asked “what size ring are you babe?” and I was like “ahhh, oi yeah… ring.. um… “….

BUT! I have a good point on why my behaviour is normal, and why everyone around me should be happy. As my mum was going off at me for not being girly etc I said to her “Mum… you and Dad are lucky, I mean think about all the money you saved raising me? because I didn’t care for anything girly… I saved you both money!!!” LMAO

So as I hurry this post… so I can run out the door, as my sister is hassling me that the fitting is in an hour….. and its a 45min drive away…. I think of all the other brides out there.

Especially the brides that fall in the Bride No. 2 Group hehehe

*screams @ sis “yes yes Im coming… farrrrr”*